Why the Highlands suck.

And NOW I have to meet my damn neighbors? Because of my social butterfly hubby? Huh? He's here 3 months and already knows more people then I can shake a stick at? Geesh.

You ask: Does marriage impede on your porn viewing?

Yes. Yes it does.

And another thing

About my life: on my third job since starting this here blog.

2nd job: working for a couple (Mid-50's male, started Co. - mid-30's female). Let's start with the female, or Skins (being anorexic and all, I find it quite fitting). This chick would CRY if candy bars were left in the office. Made her way to the bathroom after each and every meal, and chronicled every piece of food that passed her chapped lips.

She also made life hell for me in that: she accused me of leaving 1-2 minutes early (going off of her CELL phone time); made me rewrite, rewrite and rewrite stupid workplans (task: learn title work, her answer in red pen just like a teacher: what does this mean? Just what is says Skins, just what it says) I would rewrite workplans up to 7-8 times, long after the actual work was COMPLETE, wouldn't get an over-the-door coat hanger for my jacket, wouldn't put batteries in her digital camera herself, wouldn't water her plants herself. All in all, a real pain in the ass. Expected absolute perfection from day one. She would ask me to write a letter, I would write it and send it to her, she would, of course, have a billion changes. I would update and send to her, she would then start changing her changes. Ugh.

Anyways, that job ended in February, when they let me go. Becuase Old Man and Skins were going to try for a baby, and with Skins doing all the "heavy lifting" they needed someone with more experience. So I was buh-bye. I was upset, but relieved as well. Took me three weeks to land a killer job: public company, assistant to CEO/Chairman, $8000 bucks more per year, stock options, paid parking, kick-ass office on the Pearl Street mall.

One thing I hope though: I hope Old Man is shooting blanks. Amen.

So...here we are again Motherfuckers

I didn't realize I had erased all links, from the past. Phew. My how things have changed. Firstly I am married. Yes, I'll let you catch your breathe. So I am married to a UKB. Gotcha! My plan worked! And yes indeedy I love the accent. Secondly, I bought two pairs of fugly shoes from REI. I know! What is happening to ME? Thirdly, I got a dog. Oh gawd yes it's true and sometimes I wonder what the hell I am thinking. Fourthly, I got a scooter. It just will never end.

Pretty soon there will be little difference between me and all the white tools which surround me in the "Hiiighhhlaaaands."

The Past

The past is always an interesting thing. Some people say the past doesn't matter. Some people say it does. Some people say it doesn't when it really does. Ah, the past was with me this weekend. I'll go on later.

Televisison Post

The last episode of Six Feet Under. It made me realize that I do not want a glimpse into the future. Not at all. It made me feel all weird like. Then I felt more weird when I realized I was feeling weird over a television show. Geesh Luis Leon!

I am Su-Su-Tsunami'd out

I'm not going to delete this title, because it's too damn good.

I've Got a Pet Peeve

It has to do with license plates and month/year stickers, and I've noticed that certain folks 'round these parts just cain't seem to foller directions, and end up placing them stickers all over, EXCEPT the part where theys supposed t'go.

Take for instance, a lovely, sun-hardened-blond woman driving her Explorer in my neighborhood, with her "save a Forest remove a Bush" bumpersticker. Like the beat-up 1990 Celica covertible that parks in the same garage as me. Tags all messed to hell. Or the mommy minivan, GMC. Kerry sticker. Fucked up tags.

Isn't it funny..

How liberals are all for free speech just as long as it is speech that agrees with them.  Leonard Gendron, of Boston found out just how hospitable the left can be while trying to exercise the same right as the Peace Protester during an Anti-War rally Sunday in Boston.  Look you liberal bitches Leo has just as much right to be ranting and raving about all his crazy shit and you do about yours.  That is a very hard point to get across to a liberal.... trust me!  Just because you don't agree with what is being said does not give you the right to silence it, it is that simple!

Linda please!

Listen Ron-hag only open your mouth to sing and eat, preferably less on the second.  Linda had another outburst at her latest show and again the people bolted!  Although I do believe Neo has solved the mystery behind all of this!  The Bayou Buzz  also has an excellent take on this entire circus!

Filthyness

UKB'S are doing the nasty and spreading nastyness around the great wide world! Keep it in the pants fellas!

Is John Kerry in Denver today?

WTF?  Who cares??  I don't.  Not one little tiny bit.  Not at all.  Rest assured we'll see story after breathless story of John Kerry and his boyfriend John.  Listen, I'm all for man2man love, really couldn't find a bigger fan than this Monkey, but I think the age difference is pretty huge.  I mean, what does John have in common with John?  Nothing.  John is just looking for a Daddy and John is happy to be one.  Lead the way.  Show him what's what and what goes where.  It's kind of...a bit...tiny bit....touching.    A Precious Moment moment.

I was rear-ended last night

Not in THAT way.  In the way:  homie-d out Lexus hit me, going about 10 mph.  All is well.  But this monkey has a sore neck and jaw to show for it.  No damage to the Saab - thank G-d!

So it begins!

I told the world that the monkeys were coming and you bitches didn't listen.  Here is the proof, click it if you DARE!

Fo realz?

Simone! Apparently I just drove through a wall cloud and word is that ain’t ever been done before.  I knew I was good people, but I just had no idea I was this damn good!

FUCK!

I just got pounded by a couple of inches of marble sized hail and rain on I-70 in Aurora!  It got so bad I had to throw my truck into 4-wheel drive!  It's a complete white out...errr water out...umm anyways you can't see shit and it's a free for all, so if you got the guts then get the glory!  I also had to create a contraption out of my windshield sun guard in order to make it back into my building from the parking lot.  Thank God for my mind!  Well anyhow if you live in Denver I suggest you move your nice cars into covered parking PRONTO!

Excellent news part 2!

This Monkey is getting a promotion!  Right on brother...right on!

My Brother - some Hot Shot!

Here's his secret:  he looks just like his dear old sister.  That would be...drop dead gorgeous. 

I dun told you!

Update on the the picnic incident:  A set of twins who were in attendence had their Mom ask my Wife when they could see me again because they just loved me.  Boy I tell you, it's been going on for years but it still feels like the first time.  Ladies, I can only give my time and attention to one chica-my Wife, so I'm sorry you are just going to have to make due with hello's and listening to me talk from a distance at company get togethers.  Thank you, that is all!

I have excellent news for the world!

There is no such thing as trip hop!  I also have to tell you about my amazing weekend!  Right on, let's go!  Well it wasn't actually great.  I was however able to drink mass quantities of LQ on Saturday and the better halves company picnic.  Yes I know, I should be more gracious and subtle and not hover over the kegs like angry bear!  What's the fun in that?  I honestly drank more than I should have and that was mostly due to the fact that the fucking picnic sucked and I don't know these people!  You know when you go somewhere with someone and they have to like do shit and can't actually participate in the get-together, well that was the deal for me lady!  She had to do her thing and that left me...naked...alone and drinking!  Unfortunately the naked and alone thing really did happen, but that was much farther along in the evening.  Anyways, the beer was good and I drank it!  I was forced to mingle, so I mingled and the people were enchanted!  I must say I put on a damn fine show!  I left them in stitches!  The sad thing is I worked the magic a little to well.  We were invited out to the after parties because they loved my monkey!  I told them hey, I can't be giving away my presence like a cheap six-pack of Pabst!  I have to conserve the goodness people, so I am sorry but I am going to have to pass on the keggers till dawn.  I have an image as a lone wolf to uphold!  So we bid them goodnight and I went and passed out fully clothed in the guest bedroom!  Which brings me back to the naked and alone statement...how in the hell did I get outside on the porch and who undressed me?  Well that is up the cops as for me I will pay my fine and do it all again next weekend!

Press!

Yes, the Nuggets are getting some solid reviews for their free agent moves.  Here are two articles from ESPN and The Sporting News announcing the new kings of the Western Conference!

Well...

Arnold hates gays!  Well not really, but if you are a simple minded left winger with nothing better to do then hop on the PC bandwagon and let's go get us some Austrian ass!

It's done

Well the kid is moving on so what the hell I guess I'll start posting again since I finally have nothing better to do.  Well here is a bright note...the Nuggets are going to rip next year!  I can't wait until we play the Timberwolves and Kenyon Martin beats the hell out of Sam Cassels alien head.  Damn that dude is ugly...I mean basically his shit is scary!  So I am very excited for the up coming season.  I hate this lag time between basketball and football; the only thing to watch is baseball.  Baseball is fun only when you are drinking and eating junk food.  Otherwise you will fall asleep (unfortunately I don’t mean this literally) and wake up sad and out of wack because you just wasted 3 hours watching one sucky team play another sucky team.  I prefer watching summer league basketball to watching baseball. That is just me so back off bitches if you don't agree.  The upcoming months should be decent with the return of football in August and September and then finally b-ball in late October early November. 

Milli Vanilli Song Running Thru My Head....

I'm in love girl...just in love girl.
 
And boy oh boy am I EVER.  32 inches of pure entertainment.  Stereo sound.  My new television.  So swaa-eeet!