Why the Highlands suck.

And NOW I have to meet my damn neighbors? Because of my social butterfly hubby? Huh? He's here 3 months and already knows more people then I can shake a stick at? Geesh.

You ask: Does marriage impede on your porn viewing?

Yes. Yes it does.

And another thing

About my life: on my third job since starting this here blog.

2nd job: working for a couple (Mid-50's male, started Co. - mid-30's female). Let's start with the female, or Skins (being anorexic and all, I find it quite fitting). This chick would CRY if candy bars were left in the office. Made her way to the bathroom after each and every meal, and chronicled every piece of food that passed her chapped lips.

She also made life hell for me in that: she accused me of leaving 1-2 minutes early (going off of her CELL phone time); made me rewrite, rewrite and rewrite stupid workplans (task: learn title work, her answer in red pen just like a teacher: what does this mean? Just what is says Skins, just what it says) I would rewrite workplans up to 7-8 times, long after the actual work was COMPLETE, wouldn't get an over-the-door coat hanger for my jacket, wouldn't put batteries in her digital camera herself, wouldn't water her plants herself. All in all, a real pain in the ass. Expected absolute perfection from day one. She would ask me to write a letter, I would write it and send it to her, she would, of course, have a billion changes. I would update and send to her, she would then start changing her changes. Ugh.

Anyways, that job ended in February, when they let me go. Becuase Old Man and Skins were going to try for a baby, and with Skins doing all the "heavy lifting" they needed someone with more experience. So I was buh-bye. I was upset, but relieved as well. Took me three weeks to land a killer job: public company, assistant to CEO/Chairman, $8000 bucks more per year, stock options, paid parking, kick-ass office on the Pearl Street mall.

One thing I hope though: I hope Old Man is shooting blanks. Amen.

So...here we are again Motherfuckers

I didn't realize I had erased all links, from the past. Phew. My how things have changed. Firstly I am married. Yes, I'll let you catch your breathe. So I am married to a UKB. Gotcha! My plan worked! And yes indeedy I love the accent. Secondly, I bought two pairs of fugly shoes from REI. I know! What is happening to ME? Thirdly, I got a dog. Oh gawd yes it's true and sometimes I wonder what the hell I am thinking. Fourthly, I got a scooter. It just will never end.

Pretty soon there will be little difference between me and all the white tools which surround me in the "Hiiighhhlaaaands."

The Past

The past is always an interesting thing. Some people say the past doesn't matter. Some people say it does. Some people say it doesn't when it really does. Ah, the past was with me this weekend. I'll go on later.

Televisison Post

The last episode of Six Feet Under. It made me realize that I do not want a glimpse into the future. Not at all. It made me feel all weird like. Then I felt more weird when I realized I was feeling weird over a television show. Geesh Luis Leon!

I am Su-Su-Tsunami'd out

I'm not going to delete this title, because it's too damn good.

I've Got a Pet Peeve

It has to do with license plates and month/year stickers, and I've noticed that certain folks 'round these parts just cain't seem to foller directions, and end up placing them stickers all over, EXCEPT the part where theys supposed t'go.

Take for instance, a lovely, sun-hardened-blond woman driving her Explorer in my neighborhood, with her "save a Forest remove a Bush" bumpersticker. Like the beat-up 1990 Celica covertible that parks in the same garage as me. Tags all messed to hell. Or the mommy minivan, GMC. Kerry sticker. Fucked up tags.

Is John Kerry in Denver today?

WTF?  Who cares??  I don't.  Not one little tiny bit.  Not at all.  Rest assured we'll see story after breathless story of John Kerry and his boyfriend John.  Listen, I'm all for man2man love, really couldn't find a bigger fan than this Monkey, but I think the age difference is pretty huge.  I mean, what does John have in common with John?  Nothing.  John is just looking for a Daddy and John is happy to be one.  Lead the way.  Show him what's what and what goes where.  It's kind of...a bit...tiny bit....touching.    A Precious Moment moment.

I was rear-ended last night

Not in THAT way.  In the way:  homie-d out Lexus hit me, going about 10 mph.  All is well.  But this monkey has a sore neck and jaw to show for it.  No damage to the Saab - thank G-d!

My Brother - some Hot Shot!

Here's his secret:  he looks just like his dear old sister.  That would be...drop dead gorgeous. 

Milli Vanilli Song Running Thru My Head....

I'm in love girl...just in love girl.
 
And boy oh boy am I EVER.  32 inches of pure entertainment.  Stereo sound.  My new television.  So swaa-eeet!

To see I-Robot, or not to see I-Robot

Can I stand a Will Smith movie?  How long will it be before my hands are over my eyes and I'm thinking - why did I do this?  I mean, it looks like an interesting premise.  But, then there's Will Smith.  I hate it when Will gets jiggy wit it.  He's such a cheeseball, and so, so *yawn* - that is what he is.  His son Trey has lame-ass rhymes.  His wife is just as obnoxious.  He's the Fresh Prince.  Yo holmes:  smell ya lata!

Martha gets Five Months

Fair I'd say.  What, like sending her to the gallows would be better?  She was found guilty and will now pay her debt to society.  I like Martha.  I like her show.  It's interesting. 
 
But the question remains:  how will Martha be in the joint?  Will she pickup bad habits?  Her shanks (is this the correct lingo?), will be something to behold, shiny and perfect, with wrapped handles matching their uniforms.  Who are we kidding?  Martha will have a stable of bitches ready to throw down at the slightest provocation, get her food, clean her clothes and ride the Martha wave each and every night.

I-70 Girder Collapse

Nice to see the dispatcher is BACK ON THE JOB. Just like I said she would be. Not in the communications department, but somewhere else. Because employees that blatently fail on the job, that are incapable of listening clearly and passing along the message are in short demand!

Ok, so a cop that kills a kid lunging at him with a knife is fired. But a dispatcher that mistakes "girder bowing on I-70" with "crooked sign" thereby condemning a family of 3 to a grisly death gets transferred. Hmm, it's like my Pappy always said: Life ain't fair JacksOne, deal with it."

Ashlee Simpson

Yes. I watched the show. I got a pretty laugh at the lame attempt of Jessica to rawk out to her sister's "pop" song. Gag me already. Ashlee likes to look like a boy. She also likes to fuck boys, that ain't no virgin, let me tell you. She also thinks it's sweet when the boy-toy brings CARNATIONS and DAISIES. Huh?? Carnations are for lame-brains. It looked like he went and gathered up all the week-old bouqets at King Soopers. How thoughtful! And she gets it because she's a "rock star", because she sings "peesus aaawwwfff maaaaeee".

That song sucks so hard, I can't even describe it. Okay, so maybe it's OK to like the song and hate the singer, as it's okay to hate the game but not the playa. Case in point: I myself like at least 3 Britney Spears song while hating her plastic, curvaceous slutty ass.

Oh hate, hate is such a STRONG word.

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